'On Saying Please' is an essay that talks about socially important issues that we encounter in our daily lives. The essay shows how using polite words and phrases like "please" and "thank you" can change the course of our day. Such words help us to ease our way through life.
In his attempt to distinguish between etiquette and what is legally binding, Gardiner begins his essay with the example of an elevator operator kicking a passenger out of the elevator for not saying "please." While Gardiner agrees that politeness is politeness, he rightly points out that politeness cannot legally be applied to impolite people. The legal system, despite its flaws, is sensible in not criminalizing incivility. Impoliteness is what is perceived as impolite and is therefore subjective. Therefore, punishment is not possible. At most, a rude person can be described as ill-mannered. But in the case of physical brutality, the law gives us the right to self-defense.
It is also true that incivility is often more hurtful than physical abuse. Worse, it has a cyclical effect. He who is on the verge of being rude to his superiors takes it out on his subordinates because he cannot retaliate against his superiors. Therefore, we should know the importance and value of social practices that promote civility
Gardiner offers the example of a good conductor to show how such people can bring positivity. Gardiner points out that the example of a brilliant conductor is not chosen on the assumption that conductors are largely ill-tuned. Gardiner makes it clear that if we have rude conductors now and then, it is the result of their hard work.
However, the friendly conductor pleasantly surprised the author by buying him a ticket because the author had forgotten his purse at home. Although the author later found a shilling in his pocket to pay the conductor, the cheerful demeanor of the conductor left him with a pleasant feeling.
Other times it was the conductor who stepped on the author's toe. But he was so sincere in his apology that the author easily forgave him. It also became the author's habit to record a well-behaved conductor who held various roles in assisting the passengers. He was like a son to the old, a father to the children, a friend to the young and a helper to the disabled.
The author is particularly impressed by the fact that the conductor got off the bus and asked the driver to wait until he took the blind person across the road or around the corner. Gardiner adds that just as good weather lifts our spirits, good natured people also bring positivity. Even unkind people cannot resist their charm. Gardiner concludes the essay by noting that rudeness seemed to be a consequence of war. He sincerely appeals to his readers to restore civility to social behavior.
So we see that the essay clearly shows the difference between what is punishable by law and what is desirable even though not punishable by law. While the law is very specific about how individuals should behave, it has little to say about matters of civility and kindness/courtesy to others. The law speaks of individuals who have been wronged and whose rights have been taken away by the hand of another.
Yet it cannot legislate manners or civility in dealing with each other. The reality is that although it is not a perfect state, this legal state is reasonable because it does not enter the realm of emotions. If the law gave way to this level of emotional subjectivity, then individuals would commit acts of violence every time they were mistreated.
